By now, we’re all pretty familiar with the phrase “necessity is the mother of invention,“ but we also have to give a well-earned tip of the ol’ chappo to the studly plumper, the randy housewife, the sensual tennis instructor, or the frisky (and over 21) babysitter for having a hand, and other body parts, in it as well.
Or, to put it another way, ever since our ancestors scrawled dirty pictures on cave walls, porn’s been big a significant driver of technological change.
Look no further than the ongoing explosion of media players for a good example: those handy programs allowing us to play the sexy videos we’ve downloaded or recorded ourselves to our heart’s content.
Which begs the question: which of all these possible players is specifically the all-time best for enjoying adult entertainment?
Lucky for you, we’ve done the hard work and assembled a top-five list, with #1 being the clear winner for all your sexy-time needs.
#5: MPC-HC Media Player
While not bad, per se, the MPC-HC Media Player lands at the bottom of our list because compared against our other contenders, it’s more than a bit dated.
For instance, though, it can handle a range of formats that’s kind of about it in the bells and whistles department. True, it’s open-source, and simplicity is one of its main selling points, but for the same price of totally free, you can get way better player—and in the case of our number one pick, way, way better.
By the way, we didn’t refer to the MPC-HC Media Player as “dated” to be clever, as though it remains pretty popular it hasn’t been updated since 2017. Which, in computer years, makes it just about coal-powered and steam-driven compared with the others on our list. Though those with older, un-upgraded systems still swear by it.
On a side note, while not a media player we highly recommend downloading Handbrake: a free Windows, Mac, and Linux supported video converter if you need to change any of your file formats. It can also rip content from non-copyrighted DVDs or Blu Ray discs for those out there wanting to digitize their libraries.
Pros:
- Free
- A possible option for older systems
- Simple interface
- Supports multiple file formats
Cons:
- Outdated
- Non-supported
- Few options
- PC only
- Only plays media
#4: DivX Player
Holding DivX up against our other media players is kind of like racing a high-octane jalopy against an Italian sports car: the race will be a tight one but the fancier car looks better doing it.
DivX, backed by years of experience and expensive high-tuning is more than just some glossy bodywork as after years in the highly competitive software industry it still purrs like a kitten.
Though put together with high-rez videos in mind, DivX still supports formats like MP4, MKV, and AVI quite well. Its playlist feature sets it apart from the competition, too, as does its “recently watched” feature allowing you to pick up where you left off without all that annoying sliding back and forth.
On the not-so-good side, only Windows or Apple computer users can use it so Linux users will have to go elsewhere.
Pros:
- Free (for base version)
- Supports multiple file formats
- Playlists
- Recently watched feature
- Cross-device streaming
Cons:
- Windows and Mac OS only
- Not as many video options as other players
- Only plays media
#3: KMPlayer
It’s for lots of extremely good reasons KMPlayer is as widely popular as it is. A good place to start as to why lies in its flexibility in handing every format you’ll about ever need, has loads of playlist options, has tweakable subtitles, you can zoom in on the action at any time, and it’s free.
There’s a major fly in the ointment, though, that cements it into our #3 spot: that, for all its useful features, its zero-cost comes with an unexpected and mood-killing cost of users having to deal with ads.
If you can deal with that kind of, let’s be fair, annoyance, especially while trying to really get into your favorite adult video, then it might be the media player for you. If not, any of these others might be a better fit.
Some have also reported that KMPlayer can be unexpectedly buggy but not to such a degree that it’s tarnished it’s otherwise pretty stellar reputation.
Aside from that, it’s one of those nicely across-the-board supported players with Widows, Apple, and iOS and Android versions being available.
Pros:
- Supports multiple file formats
- Playlists
- Innovative features, including subtitles and being able to zoom
Cons:
- Free but with ads—enough said!
- Only plays media
#2: VLC Media Player
For many, the reigning king—or queen, as we’re not sure the appropriate gender for software—VLC Media Player has a lot going for it, though it’s beginning get eclipsed by more polished options.
Like others on our list, VLC is free and open source. The big difference between it and the others is that it can handle content from not just about every digital file type but also from Audio CDs, DVDs, or VCDs and some streaming formats and Webcams.
VLC also plays well with others, with versions available for Windows, Linux, and here they get a big thumbs up, Apple systems as well. They even have a mobile version that runs on either Android or iOS. Though I can personally testify that the current Mac build has crashed enough times to make me look for a more stable option.
The reason they’re not more towards our #1 spot is that though VLC does its job quite well that’s all it does. This gets us to our top pick: a media player that takes porn to a whole new level.
Pros:
- Free
- Supports digital, physical, and streaming media
- Available on multiple platforms
- Good playback options
Cons:
- Only plays media
#1: The Lovense Media Player
So here we are at number one and, while the competition was fierce, it wasn’t a tough decision to award the honor to The Lovense Media Player.
While we freely admit it may not have as many features as our other candidates and, for now, at least, it’s a PC exclusive, Lovense’s entry does what all those other players can’t.
As, unlike VLC, KMPlayer, DivX, or MPC-HC, the Lovense Media Player was built from the ground up with adult entertainment in mind—and not just to pay videos.
You’ll notice the difference the instant you fire it up and it asks if you want to connect it to your current Lovense plaything via Bluetooth. But not just any Lovense product but all of them. Seriously, no matter if you prefer the Max 2, the Hush, or the Nora you can sync it up to their media player.
Don’t fret if your computer doesn’t have Bluetooth, as Lovense has you neatly covered in case of that eventuality by offering their own branded dongle or, if you have a suitable enabled smartphone (iOS or Android), you can connect your Lovense toy to that and then via Wifi to your PC.
Once your connection’s set up, you’re all set to create customized playlists of not just videos but also what you want your sextoy to do while you play them back. For the first time allowing you to sexually experience what previously you’d only been able to watch.
In a party mood? Then why not send your customized playlist and the video it’s built around to your friends so you can all share in the delights of a virtual orgy. Want some erotic inspiration? Sample what other users put together to potentially open you up to all kinds of new pleasure possibilities.
Really, and we don’t say this lightly, the sky’s about the limit to what you can do with The Lovense Media Player—and, the cherry on top—it’s completely free.
Pros:
- Free
- Supports multiple file formats
- Full interactivity with all of Lovense’s products
- Ability to make, download, or share customized vibrational patterns
Cons:
- PC only
The verdict
We almost feel bad for those other competitors as, no matter the platforms they support, the work put into their development, or their various features, they can’t do what Lovense’s accomplished with their media player.
But, as we said at the start of our list, innovation’s been predominantly by the need to fill this, that, or the other need. In this case, a way to play videos on a home computer.
Lovense didn’t stop there, however. Instead, they looked beyond programming up just another in a long line of generic media players and, motivated by the powerful innovative force that’s sex, they’ve brought us something new—and hot.
So if you’re looking for a media player for your adult entertainment, and have one or more of Lovense’s excellent products handy, then you really have no reason not to download their media player. Believe us when we say that while watching porn can be a lot of fun, feeling it as well is a whole lot better.
