If you have a vulva or are fond of someone with one, then you’re no doubt intimately aware of how choosing the right sextoy can be the difference between having a meh or a fabulously good time.
Unfortunately, the available makes and models of high-quality sextech playthings have expanded so much that it feels practically impossible to separate the vibration, buzzing, oscillating wheat from the chaff.
This is where we come in: with our informative, and hopefully amusing, rundown of what we consider to be top-of-the-line toys for vulva pleasuring.
But first, we need to set the bar with our favorite: Lovense’s Lush. As with everything they make, the Lush is as well made as it is thoughtfully designed.
One obvious thing that sets the Lush apart from other penetration-type toys is its slender extension that curves away from the pleasure zone and up towards the user.
Why it does this is a significant reason for the well-deserved praise it’s gotten as this part of the toy allows users far better on and off control than trying to get a—frequently slippery—grip on the main body of similar toys.
Similar to their other products, the Lush is also smart in that its various arousing functions can be fine-tuned via and Lovense’s proprietary iOS or Android smartphone app and a Bluetooth connection: an interface that’s so skillfully designed that you use it to do practically everything you need it to do.
Not only that, but Lush’s sexy actions can be controlled remotely by a partner or playmate as far as 45 feet away when the person using it is standing or 30 when they are lying down. As with every other smart sextoy Lovense makes, you can even use it to give your favorite porn video an extra-added sexiness by configuring their Media Player so that whatever happens on screen is mirrored by your Lush.
In a long-distance relationship? Then the good news just keeps coming as the Lush can also be controlled, via Lovense’s desktop app and wifi, from anywhere in the world.
And if public play is your thing, then the Lush has you covered as it’s not only incredibly fun but ridiculously quiet. So much so that no one—unless the person using it makes their own noises—will hear a thing.
But if, for some reason or another, you can’t get your eager mitts on a Lush—or perhaps it’s not just your cup of sexual tea? Don’t worry, as here are our picks for alternative toys, and those from the competition, that might do the trick as well.
#1: Ohmibod Esca 2
From the great minds at both Ohmibod and Kiiroo, two prominent leaders in the sextech industry come their unique interpretation of vulva pleasuring: the Ohmibod Esca 2.
Though it might superficially resemble the Lush, the Ohmibod Esca 2 has a few extra tricks up its high-quality sleeve. The first similarity is that like the Lovense’s toy, the Esca 2 has an antenna, but with the Ohmibod/Kiiroo toy, it’s not there to just maintain a good Bluetooth connection for hands-free, or long distance, enjoyment but also lights up so you can see what’s happening, even in a darkened bedroom!
Like Lush, the Ohmibod Esca 2 is gloriously covert: it’s hushed yet powerful motor making it ideal for surreptitious erotic shenanigans.
It can be used in conjunction, via Bluetooth, with various adult entertainment venues, including certain interactive games and virtual reality.
#2: We-Vibe Jive
Glancing at the Jive, from the well-respected people at We-Vibe, and you might think that it, too, was part of the same species as the Lush in that it equally sports an antenna for superior Bluetooth connectivity.
And you wouldn’t be far off, but there are a few key differences—a few of which knocked it below the Ohmibod Esca 2.
Again, to each their own—particularly when it comes to sexual pleasure—but since the We-Vibe Jive’s antenna is only that and not an illuminated, it comes off as a little simple. Though if it’s your fave, or looks like something that might work for you, then, by all means, give it a try!
Like the Lush and the Esca 2—seriously, are we seeing a pattern here with the numbers and all?—the We-Vibe Jive is also nicely built in the smarts-department, as i’s impressive array of vibration modes are controllable with the We-Connect app (Android or iOS) in the same room or thousands of miles away.
Discretion, too, is one of it’s selling points as while it might be powerful—and oh so stimulating—it’s so quiet as to be practically undetectable.
#3: MysteryVibe Crescendo
Our next product breaks what was beginning to feel like a long-standing tradition—for this article, at least—in that here’s a toy that looks and acts like nothing we’ve covered so far.
Produced by MysteryVibe, well-known for many enjoyable sextech devices, their Crescendo is unique in its flexibility: not just in how it can be used but even by who can enjoy it.
While toys like the Lush and other similar toys can be used by those without vulvas, they weren’t designed for double duty, Not so with the Crescendo, however, as MysteryVibe’s innovative design means that it can be used by those with penises and testicles as well. But please don’t do any anal insertion since it’s flangeless, there’s a risk that it might get stuck. Ouch!
Otherwise, it’s twisty-and-turny design can go anywhere you want to take it, perfectly evidenced by MysteryVibe’s nicely illustrated guide on their site demonstrating it’s use for clitoral, vaginal, penile, and perineum pleasures.
As it’s smart and powerful, it’s controllable with MysteryVibe’s smartphone app (iOS and Android). Though on this software side of things, it doesn’t seem to support long-distance interactions, this could be something that MysteryVibe might support in the future.
In regards to the Crescendo and discrete public play … in all honesty, that’s not exactly what it was designed to do. It’s a tad on the noisy side, and while it can be easily inserted, its length would no doubt be somewhat uncomfortable if worn under clothing.
#4: We-Vibe Sync
For our number four spot, we circle back to We-Vibe with their couple’s toy, the Sync.
And it certainly has a lot going for it! Off the bat, it scores points for delivering internal vibrations to the clit as well—or around that area depending on what you like—courtesy of its flexible extension.
It’s also smart, with the Jive full range of vibrations and other sexy actions, controllable with We-Vibe’s app. Speaking of vibrations, it delivers plenty of good ones with ten to choose from, such as coast-themed ones like Crest, Surf, and Tide and the acoustic-inspired Pulse, Wave, and Echo.
The Sync gets bonus points for coming packed with its own, stand-alone, Bluetooth controller: a neat little unit that, while not giving users as many options as the app does, still does enough—if not more than enough—for pleasure’s sake.
This is worth praising a bit more as it can be quite the bother to want to try one of these state-of-the-art products but, for lacking a smartphone, but can’t. So kudos to We-Vibe for addressing this with the Sync.
#5: Lelo Tiani 2
Which gets us to our final alternative to Lovense’s Lush. From the great minds at Lelo allow us to present their Tiani 2.
Seriously, what’s up with these numbers? Okay, kidding aside, though it closes our list, the Tiani 2 has a lot going for it. One, it’s from Lelo—which already sets it above many other products; two, it’s kick-in-in-the-pants fun for those with vulvas; and three, it’s also superb for clitoral stimulation as well.
Like the Sync, it comes with its own little Bluetooth controller—good news again for those without smartphones—but in the case of the Tiani 2, that’s all it has, as he toy, as far as we can determine, doesn’t have the same smarts as the other toys on our list.
But that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad toy, just that if you do want that kind of fine motor control and the ability to have remote or long-distance fun with it, then one of these other options might be better for you.
The verdict
Though it’s pretty hard to find products that can measure up to the Lovense Lush regarding the quality of manufacture, flexibility, brains, and discretion, we sincerely hope more than a few of our suggestions here might do the trick.
And if not, then don’t fret because as sextech continues to grow as an industry, with more and more arousing technological innovations popping up practically every day, we’re sure that you’ll eventually find what you’re looking for.
Or, in the meantime, you can just pick up a Lush.
“People with vulvas” are called women, please can we stop with the nonsense?
We did not imply anything else.