How To Find Other Lovense Users? (Control or Be Controlled)

By M.Christian

A surprising side effect of the pandemic – what with people having to stay home or quarantine themselves – is the huge surge in interest in, and subsequently, the manufacture of, sex-tech products.

Not least of which are products from Lovense, who – way before COVID darkened our days – had already established themselves as leading pioneers in long-distance, fully interactive, sexual devices.

Those days of self-isolation may be over, but a large number of people have come to enjoy making love remotely, thanks to necessity in that time.

If you count yourself as one of them or are merely curious to experience it for yourself, all that remains is finding someone – or someones, if you’re fortunate – to play with.

To help you navigate your teledildonic journey, here are some suggestions on setting up your Lovense toys, dealing with technical issues should they arise, and then how to locate playmates to … well, play with.


Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, and the Lovense Remote App

connect with lovense users

Every, and I mean, every one of Lovense’s smart sex toys is fully compatible with their Remote app.

The only caveat to this is whether or not your hardware can handle it. For smartphones, this means running iOS 10.0 or above for iPhones or 4.3 or higher for Android with Bluetooth 4.0 capability.

If you’re planning on using a desktop computer, your PC or Macintosh needs to be equally Bluetooth 4.0 equipped. Though for Windows machines, Lovense recommends their own, or a similarly suitable, Bluetooth adapter.

The updated Lovense Remote for smartphones is unquestionably the top sextech app in the world. Unfortunately, the last time I checked, the desktop version lags behind in the ease-of-use department.

Windows or Apple are both usable, just not as effortlessly compared to the smartphone version.

For joint, long-distance play sessions, it’s also essential to have 4G/5G cellular data or a Wi-Fi enabled smartphone. Another option is to use an aforementioned PC or Apple with a hardwired Internet connection.

How the Lovense Remote Operates

Here’s how all this works: on one side is your smart sextoy that’s Bluetooth-linked to the Lovense Remote app running on your phone or computer. This is it if you only want to control your toy or pair of toys.

However, you can also:

  • program your own set of customized vibration patterns (except for The Max, Max 2, Nora, Osci, or Domi, which aren’t supported).
  • have your toy respond to sounds or music.
  • and have the ability to feel and see what’s happening in an interactive adult video or games like Wild Life or Lovense’s own Mirror Life game.

lovense sextoys sync play together

But if you want to engage in teledildonic, mutual operations, that’s where 4G/5G, WiFi, or Ethernet comes into play.

To get you on your way, as you charge up your favorite Lovense toy, download and install the Lovense Remote app. When that’s done, turn on your toy, select the chain icon on the upper right corner of the app, then tap the plus sign on the next screen to link them together.

And, congratulations, you’re almost ready to enter the wild, wild world of long-distance sex!

Troubleshooting the Lovense Remote App

Unfortunately, things may not be quite that easy. But don’t give up yet as nine times out of ten, fixing whatever’s preventing you from fooling around with your long distance playmates shouldn’t be tough.

A common issue involves a software or hardware conflict. Should this happen, try to narrow it down by checking if your phone or computer is fully updated and is compatible with the Lovense Remote app.

If it barely is, or if your hardware is woefully out of date, either is a likely suspect. But if you’re running a current operating system on a new or new-ish platform, test out your Bluetooth connection.

If you can’t successfully link your phone or computer to another wireless gadget, then, ta-da, that’s where your trouble lies.

find other LOVENSE users

Still not having any luck? Well, there’s always the classic turn everything off and then back on again, followed by deleting and reinstalling the app.

Another tip is to switch from one Lovense Remote app to another, so if it’s on your smartphone, give the PC or Apple version a whirl – or the other way around if the desktop app has been driving you crazy.

Whatever’s going on, don’t attempt to repair your Lovense toy. In addition to wrecking it, you’ll void its warranty.

When all else fails, or more accurately before you do anything else, visit the Lovense site where you’ll find a virtual library of useful support information on caring for, connecting to, and syncing your toy with their Remote app.

Sharing Your Lovense Fun

There are two ways to enjoy collaborative activities – as in what one toy does, another toy mimics –with the Lovense Remote app. Or, more accurately, there’s one sure-fire, 100% interactive way to do it, and then there’s the other sort-of way to do it.

For the 100% option, register with Lovense and receive a username. This is what your new playmate will look for within their app. Once located, use it to set up a link between their toy and yours.

lovense USERS meet others play

If things get weird, you can cancel the connection at any time or outright block someone. Your username is also completely anonymous. Unless you accidentally or inadvertently share something about yourself, no one will know anything about you.

For the sort-of variety, you or the person you’re going to be playing with can generate a single-use, time-limited control link. After creating it, all you or they have to do is text or email it, and when received, it can be used to control the sender’s toy.

A benefit to this is once it’s expired, the link can’t be reused, though it’ll have to be redone and resent if those involved agree to extend their playtime together.

The sort-of is because a control link isn’t interactive, only allowing a single toy to be operated remotely. You could exchange them, but it’s just not the same as two toys working together in unison.

Finding Love or Lust in All the Lovense Places

How about locating a person to play with? Again, Lovense has your back with their very own forum where passionate folks mix, mingle, negotiate, and – if everything goes well – digitally hook up.

In their dedicated chatrooms, you can narrow your search down by dropping in on General, Control, Product, or (if you’re into whips and/or chains) kinky discussions.

For those who want to get right to it, pay a visit to the chatrooms’ smartphone exclusive Live-Dating area where you and countless others are looking for quick or long-term sextech connections.

If you’re a Discord fan, stop by their chatroom for questions and answers, technical assistance, and hours of friendly, flirty conversations with similar Lovense enthusiasts.

REMOTE ADULT toy community

Don’t mind getting out there in your search for possible teledildonic adventures? In addition to potentially hooking up with a long-distance lover or two, Lovense has their own official Subreddit chock-full of eager, if occasionally annoying, users.

There are other venues, of course. But since they’re rarely specifically dedicated to sextech dating, finding other interested parties is liable to take longer, with a higher amount of disappointments, before you find someone to virtually fool around with.

Lovense Sex: Be Good, Get Good

In so-called real life or the virtual version, rudeness won’t get you anything.

And if you engage in it while in public-ish spaces like Reddit, Discord, or obviously Lovense’s own sites, be prepared to be mocked, shunned, or flat-out banned.

The solution? I shouldn’t have to spell it out for you. However, if you missed the memo, respect, tolerance, patience, and, yes, politeness won’t guarantee you a date, but the odds will definitely be more in your favor.

With all this focus on sexual technology and how communicating about it is done on computers, smartphones, or other screen-equipped gadgets, it’s sometimes tough to remember you’re talking with another human being.

But you are, and if you treat others how you want to be treated – in conjunction with your already mentioned conscientiousness and sensitivity – it will increase your chances for a good time and make some good friends along the way.

Pals who might lend you a hand, offer advice, point you in the right direction, and, should the need arise, be a shoulder to cry on.

How To Find Other Lovense Users: The Verdict

Can you use a Lovense toy to have all sorts of technologically-enhanced sexual adventures? For sure!

Can you make friends as well as lovers while discovering new erotic vistas to explore? Assuredly!

Can you find, wherever in the world you love, people to play with? Unequivocally!

And all that’s required is any Lovense smart products, a relatively new smartphone or desktop computer with the Remote app, ethernet, Wi-Fi, or access to a high speed 4G/5G data connection. Once that’s set up, striving to be on your best behavior when looking for someone to play with is all that’s required.

Do all that, and it’s practically assured you’ll be sexually adventuring, erotic vista exploring, and virtually frolicking in no time.

Even if it takes a bit of time – and you try to enjoy the journey and not just fantasize about getting there – when you do eventually arrive, it could be hotter, wilder, and more exciting than you ever imagined!


Written by M.Christian

M.Christian (they/them) is a passionate sex tech enthusiast, BDSM educator, kinky podcaster, and well-known erotica writer. Whether they’re reviewing smart vibrators or pondering the future of human sexuality, Chris tries to bring a smile--or an orgasm--to as many people as possible. Their fiction includes six novels,12 collections, 50+ short stories, and editing 25 anthologies. They’ve also written 700 articles, reviews, and essays on everything from BDSM tips and techniques to the best Lovense sextoy for rocking your world. Find more at or on Twitter at @mchristianzobop

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